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 Most of my Sunday evenings, despite one or two toddler temper tantrums from Isabel, are pretty predictable. After we put Isabel to bed around 8pm, we relax and enjoy our rented movie of the week. Of course I’m multi-tasking and looking on Ebay.com for “Toddler Tikes Play Structures” AND watching “Your Child Ate What?” on the TLC channel.
As I’m thinking to myself, “Will this play structure fit in our 400 sq. feet backyard?”, the TLC show featuring some kid who swallowed a coat hanger catches my eye. I think to myself, “Are you kidding me, what parent could let their child swallow a hanger?” Then the time that Isabel accidentally fell off the couch at 6 months came into my head. ”Who are you to judge?”, I thought to myself. Out of control things can happen to your baby in any minute. The worry that I already have for Isabel is something that I realize, will be with me forever. But I feel as if I somewhat have it under control, due to the fact that I am able to realistically put those “worry” thoughts aside as soon as they come into my head. But what if something really does happen?
Today I was explaining to my husband that we still aren’t “In the clear”, as far a Mental Health Diagnoses go with Isabel. I mean, she could get Autism, or and Anxiety Disorder, or worse yet, suffer from some kind of PTSD due to viewing an every day life event like me yesterday, when I used a curse word in front of her. I mean, I got an email from babycenter.com telling me about how right now is a crucial time due to her brain development and her ability to mimic what adults do on a daily basis. Point being life is unpredictable and uncontrollable when it comes to your children. I just put focus on ways to increase my inner strength and marital bond, in order to handle it.
 Okay, so I did it. I got Botox! Not once, but twice in one month! Can you believe it?! I can hardly believe it myself. Why can’t I believe I did it? Well because I have always said that I am for "oh natural", what a joke. In the past I have claimed that I would like to look as if I don’t put on a ton of make up. So this is why I was a little bit disappointed in myself. I am still standing by my vow not get a boob job, even as I give into "facial rejuvenation", but who knows after this! I’m not sure how I actually went through with it, but this is how it all came about……
I started looking at my forehead thinking to myself, "Yeah, you got bangs per your mother’s suggestion in order to avoid Botox. But now look at you, bangs or not, you still have frown lines." As a result of my obsessive thoughts; I responded to the oh so many emails trying to leer me into an the spas that provide Botox. "Eat some free Sushi", or , "We will charge you only $10 per unit", they claimed. Those things weren’t even important to me, but they began to provide me some rational excuses on why I should go through with it.
So on a Friday night I told my husband; "I’m going to be late, pick up the baby." He said, "Um okay, but don’t be too late." I went into the spa and they offered me wine, sushi, and teased me with conversation about all the other "wonderful" services they provide. Twenty minutes later I was seen by a doctor that I later found out was on the local news. She was great actually. She briefed me on the procedure, stuck a needle in my forehead, and $350 later (plus a $50 rebate coupon believe it or not), I was on my way back home. I did get nervous in the chair while she stuck that needle in my forehead. I almost passed out. I think that was due to a bad experience with my X dentist who gave me a messed up Novocaine shot.
As I drove home I couldn’t stop staring in the rear view mirror thinking; "Can I see the line on my forehead? Was it worth the $300? Will I tell my husband how much I actually spent? Will he even notice much less be happy with the results? Is there any change at all, or is this just a scam?"
For some reason I was satisfied with my treatment. Whether it was my husband saying, "Yeah, I can see the difference." Or me noticing one of my THREE forehead lines disappear, I DECIDED TO GO BACK FOR MORE.
This time I looked in the "Easy Reader" and found a discounted place. I told my husband about my plans and he said, "Be careful , I don’t want anyone to mess up your face, just because you got a discount." I was confident due to the fact that he was a Doctor, and I knew that you didn’t have necessarily be a Doctor to administer Botox. After a brief consultation, he decided to do my "crow’s feet", as he called them. My instinct told me that he wasn’t 100% confident that this would make me satisfied. I felt like when he said, "So this is the area we are going to concentrate on?" I wasn’t sure what that meant at the time, but later driving home in my car I understood. He knew it would take much more work on my eyes.
Botox is tricky because I feel like part of it is psychological, even though you can’t deny the temporary changes it does produce. In my opinion, I think it depends on the area you are getting the Botox, the doctor who is doing it, and your over all expectations. In the end, boob job, Botox, or liposuction, I think the question to ask yourself is; ARE YOU HAPPY?
 Well it’s hard enough not obsessing about your looks as it is. But the media is constantly pumping out shows like: "Desperate Housewives," "Sex In The City," and NOW "Cougartown." This makes it almost impossible not to experience a post-baby beauty crisis! I mean, I’ve never been so insecure about my looks or focused on my wrinkles as much as I have after I had a baby! I’m not sure what it is, but I know it has to be a "post-birth" thing. I was getting wrinkles and getting flabby under my arms LONG BEFORE the baby. I mean heck, I was 37 when I had my child. Why am I so focused on it now? My answer is that it must be the baby.
There has been some type of pre-midlife crisis going on inside of me ever since the birth. I know I have blogged before about Botox, breast implants and intense exercise and nutrition. But now, I’m focused even more on these things. Kate Moss (the model/actor) once said after losing 75 lbs of baby weight, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Hmmm…. Anyway, the point is maybe I’m so focused on beauty because I didn’t feel like I owned my body for 9 months. And now that I have it back, I want it ALL back. Below are some of post-birth (past-year) activities and things that I’ve done in order to feel and look more beautiful. Keep in mind, these things didn’t even cross my mind until the baby:
- I bought this $40 Oil OF Olay Pro X age repair lotion with SPF 30. (It is a really good product btw!).
- I got microdermabrasion treatments on my face.
- I have been on four diets. (Only one was successful and that was due to stress overload, not the actual diet).
- I have lightened my normal blond hair even lighter and got bangs.
- I am considering, and currently, Botox doctor shopping.
- I bought a padded bra. (Not a Victoria Secrets one, but the same type idea).
- I have bought four-inch heels.
- I have asked my husband for a Mercedes.
- I have asked my husband for a new wedding ring.
- I have joined a dance group in which I am the oldest member.
Can any moms out there in cyber space relate to this or tell me what is happening to me? Have you been trying to make yourself look and feel like your 18-year-old self?
 After one year and a month, motherhood continues to be rewarding, yet challenging at the same time. Lately, I have been going through what I perceive as normal first-time mother’s doubts. Specifically, they surround decisions that I make on a daily basis with regards to my baby and her health. The questions that pop-up from those decisions often haunt me:
- Should I have given my daughter Tylenol when she was fussing?
- If she’s constipated, is it because I’m giving her the wrong type of milk?
- If she doesn’t say a lot of words is it because I’m not a "stay-at-home" mom?
- Why is she crying from 3 am – 4 am? Is she sick or upset or is her sleep cycle off?
- Does she have tummy problems because I feed her the wrong food and don’t go all "organic" with my blender?
- How do I know if she is teething?
- If I were a "stay-at-home” mom would I be better provider for my baby’s “first 5-years experience” (which so happen to be the most important in a child’s development)?
The constant bombardment of self guilt easily stresses me out and spills over into my marriage. I tend to overreact when my husband suggests things like: "Honey, you need to stop feeding her Gerber. You need to feed her what the childcare worker does — real food." Of course, this starts an argument because my feelings get hurt when he really wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings in the first place.
Another thing I experience as a new mom is this overall feeling of anxiousness. It usually happens when I know my baby isn’t 100%, or when she’s experiencing things that eventually lead to fussiness. I get this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach because something isn’t right and I can’t fix it. Such anxiety rises when my baby starts crying a lot and I can’t do anything to soothe her. Most of my care tactics amount to guess work when baby experiences things like teething, colic, constipation, etc. I just try to do my best and hold on for that emotional rollercoaster ride.
Can any other mothers relate?
 What will "they" do next? Claim that baby pacifiers are harmful to infants because they cause tooth decay or they promote dependency? Or maybe "they" will go back to the outdated theory that teaching a baby sign language makes him mute. The point being, the media hype surrounding Baby Einstein® DVD sales and calling it a scam, because screen time alone doesn’t add to intellectual development, is a ridiculous pile of baloney. Critics and consumer groups have been attacking companies like Baby Einstein® because a recent Boston/Harvard study concluded that screen time did nothing to intellectually stimulate an infant’s mind. However, the study of 872 babies over a 3-year period does not have any data on the kinds of programs or DVDs the toddlers were watching. It also doesn’t take into account the parents interactions and exchanges with their babies before and after screen time. So, I think it was a bit presumptuous for these researchers to have stated that they found “no evidence of cognitive benefit from [babies] watching TV during the first two years of life” and then dismissing all educational DVDs without considering their full applications.
First of all, the creator of Baby Einstein® products (a former homemaker) never purported her products would make your baby a genius! So hopefully, consumers didn’t buy the product based off of that assumption. Yes, the use of the word "genius" would describe certain items in the line, but such a process only creatively played on the Baby Einstein motif rather than described the cognitive disposition of an infant after using the product.
Furthermore, the position of Baby Einstein®, since its first advertising campaign in October of 2002, has always been “helping parents interact with their children.” Baby Einstein® products are similar to tools that helps both baby and parents open a child’s eye to the world around him. At the same time, the parent uses creative data and paraphernalia such as rhymes, songs, books, cards and toys as fuel to help create an interactive environment for an infant. Without that interaction, all you have is the basketball without the court or a boat without the sea. Used together both the products and the parent involvement help stimulate an infant’s mind.
So, why all the hoopla about Baby Einstein®? From what I can see, the critics’ claims are not on point with the creative intent of the product. I not only sell Baby Einstein® products on my site, I also use them. For me, they are tools to help foster my little girl’s learning and development. Products like Baby Einstein® Language Discovery Cards are fun for me and my baby. Honestly, I’m not a trained teacher and I can only guess on how to structure my baby’s education. Sure, we enjoy nursery rhymes, perform our A-B-C’s and count from 1 to 3. But after that, I’m lost. Baby Einstein® products at least give us parents a way to leverage our children’s learning. And this is all they claim. The company encourages Parent-Child Interactions. It never instructed a parent to place a child alone in front of a television set like these current anti-Baby Einstein® critics and lobbyists would have you believe.
With that said, I hope that you continue to consider these products and don’t believe the current negativity on its face. Have I ever placed my baby in her Baby Einstein® Baby Neptune Ocean Adventure Gym and let her play and explore on her own? Yes! Do I let my baby watch Baby Einstein® DVDs in the back seat of the car for as long as 40 minutes? Sure! But I believe that part of the pleasure of having a baby is observing her! I learn a lot from watching her discover, and sometimes I leave her on that little adventure gym/mat for a good 30 minutes. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. Do you? What are your thoughts about the current controversial articles and blogs that have been written? Also, please read Baby Einstein’s Rebuttal Sorting Out the Truth About Screen Time for Infants.
~Mommie I Am
 I have a friend that I have known for almost nine years. I often talk to him for hours on occasions; I think you get the picture. Our relationship runs very deep. He has supported me throughout my ups and downs, my struggles with career, my relationships and my personal goals. I have been there for him as well. We talk intensely and share secrets, dreams, goals and passions. We care and love each other. I know it because I feel it in my soul.
Sounds wonderful? I know. But when it comes down to it, there’s just one thing: I’m happily married with a one-year-old child. So, are we going to drop our lives for each other? No. Are we going to attempt to create something more out of the beautiful relationship we have? I don’t think so. Why? Because, we haven’t already.
We’ve known each other for nine years and well before I met my husband, moved away and started another life. Absolutely, nothing happened between us. Not in all the time we spent together, all the parties and clubs we went to and all the projects and activities we participated in. Nothing. Am I saying he couldn’t have been a wonderful father, husband, lover and friend? No. He just wasn’t my decision at the time whether he was the right choice or not.
I think it’s interesting in life that we get so many small choices we think are insignificant. We make them just to later realize they were significantly great chances missed. Such is the genre of every other Hollywood movie. Nonetheless, those chances are forever lost and we either learn to move forward and face the consequences of our decisions or wallow in our doubt.
I know a lot of women will say, "Are you thinking about another man? Did you know that is like cheating on your husband”? To that I say, "If your husband isn’t satisfying you sexually, emotionally, psychologically and you’re using such a relationship as a crutch to endure your marriage. Yes, then you’re cheating." But that is not the case with me. If I wanted to be with someone else I would tell my husband, divorce him and move on. Just another decision I would have to deal with. However, I fully accept both my decision and my love for my husband and child without any regret. But, I still have to wonder what would have happened.
~Mommie I Am
During my pregnancy, people who bugged me the most always made statements like: “How many months are you? You’re soooo BIG!” OR “How many months are you? You’re soooo SMALL!” Either way, dealing with such backhanded compliments irritated me to no end. But now that I am a “mom,” a whole new series of irritancies bother me way beyond what I thought I could tolerate – And, it usually involves the behavior of other parents.
It really didn’t hit me until today when I was jogging up a not-so-smooth trail, with my young one. I was pushing the stroller past this couple with a child who I assumed was their five-year old. As they hiked down the path, the man glanced back at us and muttered, “Oh poor baby.” Now, I immediately perceived he was implying that I was being an awful mother because I was pushing my baby up this bumpy trail. I thought about turning around and telling this guy: “Listen dude! She was cramped up in my stomach for 9 months. I think she can handle a rocky stroller ride.” But too late! Before I finished my thought, they were already half way down the trail.
This incident got me thinking about the world of inconsiderate, suggestive, careless and rude behavior I’ve come to notice from other parents through being a mom such as the following:
- Parents who feed their babies lollipops. (For some reason, now that I am a mom, I especially notice this.)
- Parents who don’t do anything when their kid hits your baby.
- Parents who ignore their baby’s cries for what seems like an eternity in grocery stores.
- Parents that bring their babies in public when they are dirty. (I’m not talking about “Baby just ate lunch” dirty. I mean “Baby’s been crawling in the coal mines” dirty.)
- Parents that let their 5-year-old daughter babysit their infant while the parents do what they please. (I am especially irritated by parents that let their little kids carry the baby around.)
- Parents that see you with your baby, make eye contact like they are going to talk friendly to you, but then just kind of snub you and walk on by.
- Parents who overfeed their children. (Especially, the ones that do it with fast food.)
- Random parents who ask, “Why don’t you want to pierce your baby’s ears?” (None of your business!)
- Parents that ask, “Is this your first? When are you going to have another one?”
- Parents that try to parent your child. ARRGGH!
Are any of you mothers irritated by the same things or is this just the “nag” in me surfacing? Can you add to my list?
~Mommie I Am
 On top of trying to force my body back into pre-baby figure mode, going to work, cooking dinner and performing marriage preventive maintenance — I HAVE A SICK BABY! Oh, it is so painful to see your little one suffer. You feel so helpless, lost and just plain frustrated. Yes, WebMd.com is my friend, but such resources do only so much to soothe my worrying.
A couple of days ago, Isabel began to show symptoms of a low grade fever. It didn’t worry me at first, but with Isabel being my first baby, I feel I always want to take every necessary precaution to protect her. I guess being a mental mess is an undesired byproduct. Things really didn’t escalate until my daycare lady called me at work with a message that Isabel’s temperature sky rocketed to 104 degrees. After the obligatory "freaking out," I decided to call my doctor’s office to set up an appointment. Of course being the last minute, my husband and I could only garner a 7:45 pm visit.
Upon initially examining Isabel, my doctor bluntly stated: "You have two choices: (1) You can either wait another day and see how it goes; or (2) we can put a catheter in her and take (possibly many) samples of her blood and urine to check for bacteria." Wow, how reassuring. At that moment, my husband grabbed the baby protectively in his arms, and rattled, "No one is going to touch my little angel." I was like, "okay then…guess we’ll wait another day."
Luckily three days later, Isabel’s fever resided to the point where we had one and a half days with no fever under our belts. Hallelujah! So just when I was settling back into work without having to call and harass the daycare lady every hour to check on my baby, I get a phone call. The daycare lady informs me that Isabel now has a rash and it’s all over her body. Oh Great! Only crazy, irrelevant things seem to fly through my mind at moments like this: "Does she have swine flu? What is swine flu? Is it pneumonia? What if a car hits her? Why am I thinking about cars? Does she need her appendix taken out?" The worry a mother experiences fawning over a sick infant is horrendous. I think part of my irrational thought process had something to do with the fact that I didn’t sleep well for the past two days due to getting up three times a night to soothe Isabel’s crying. She was just so uncomfortable with her fever and the hot San Diego nights.
Later on, another visit to the doctor’s office with my husband, at some ungodly PM hour, revealed that Isabel had a viral illness called "Roseola." The doctor explained that the rash signifies the end of the infection, but the rash will get worse before it gets better. Again, great news, right? Or more like bitter sweet news. Since it’s a virus, I can’t administer antibiotics. Therefore, Isabel would have to itch it out for a few days. Nonetheless, we went home a little relieved.
However, the moment was fleeting. The next day, as I was checking an email from the nurse at my work, I discovered that there was a Recall on Children’s and Infant’s Tylenol. "Wonderful! More for me to worry about," I thought as I scrambled to call the Tylenol consumer call center at 1-800-962-5357 and see if the Tylenol medicine I had been using for my baby’s fever was on it. The answer was yes. The bottle’s lot number was there.
Again, irrational thoughts start to bubble up like boiling milk in a pot: "Oh, is she going to die? Oh, maybe I read the list wrong let me read it again? Oh no, why did I give that to her?" A little later, I frantically tried to recall the Tylenol call center for more information, but they’re only available Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time and it was Friday night. I have to wait A WHOLE WEEKEND to find out how serious this is!?!
After coming to my senses, I thought, "Wow I am really lucky that overall I have a very healthy baby. There are mothers out there who have to deal with their cancer-stricken or mentally ill children EVERY DAY." They have worse stories then mine. I praise those mothers and honor them with all of my heart.
Demo of how Mommie Andrea uses Baby Signs(R) CDs and DVDs to teach her baby to sign, while in the car and on the go.
.jpg) As I lie here naked like an insomniac on this hot summer night I can only think of one thing. LAST YEAR! At this time last year I was 8 months pregnant and miserable. I also think about my body now versus a year ago, and as I reflect back I think about how no one ever talks about their naked pregnant bodies. Everyone always talks about how beautiful pregnancy is, and how wonderful it is to have a life growing inside of you. when will my body go back to normal? When can I see my feet again and not this big tummy. Then I’d fall asleep and sometimes, believe it or not, wake up the next day and freak out because I had forgotten I was pregnant since the night before! My thoughts were, “What alien took over my body and when will he give it back?”
Don’t get me wrong, the body changes are AMAZING, scientifically that is, and it is truly a gift that I am a woman and am able to have something growing inside of me. With that said, it doesn’t and didn’t change my OTHER feelings when I was pregnant. Those are and were the feelings of, “Oh my god my thighs are rubbing together, gross!” Or-”How do I take off this bowling ball around my stomach?” I mean, when I was pregnant, I didn’t just wake up and look at myself naked in the mirror and feel sexy. I heard that some women do and I wonder how. Are they delusional? Or pumped up with those pregnancy hormones? Are they seeing and feeling something different then I did? Does anyone else feel the same way? What are your body issues or non-issues during your pregnancy?
Sometimes I would go to sleep at night, (praying that one day I would be able to sleep on my stomach again-lol), thinking to myself;
Your body naked pregnant is so confusing to look at. I mean, you have big boobs, but they just sit on your stomach. You have a big rear end, but not in a sexy “cute booty” sort of way. It kind of looks like you are having a second baby. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you can’t really enjoy your body naked because it is all out of proportion.
But I am just speaking for myself.
I guess this whole pregnancy experience really made me appreciate my body the way it is now that it is back to normal. I guess that is a good thing, I’m just not sure how I’m going to go through this again. I think it will be easier the next time, because I will know what to expect.
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